Archive for May, 2008

Houston ur ass has a problem?

Your boy RnB singer HOUSTON finally broke his silence about the eye gouging incident. To be honest from this clip it seems he may wanna “come clean” about some other things. I suspect that nigga was passed around more then the hors d’vores tray @ chubby chasers convention.Aside from the fact the nigga looks waaaaay cracked out..that nigga look shook to be damned. Like somebody put the fear of God in his ass…and when i say”fear” i mean dirty jail ding dong and by “God” i mean his big burly bunk buddy named Roscoe. This rehabilitated fuck doll went form gay as Rnb singer type dude…to launching a campaign to stop sodomy in prison…thats right bitches u heard me…STOP SODOMY IN PRISONS!! LMAO!..Um yeah uh HOUSTON we got a muhfuckin problem..Say it aint so homey. Them nigga’s reconstructed your bootyhole to the point you feel like you’re forced to change prison culture.? Them dudes musta fucked u hollow homie. Sucks to be you. It’s funny watchin the interview tho..cuz the nigga tried his damndest to come off as hard as he possibly could, fully knowing he needs to keep a cork in his ass to keep from shittin himself. But leakage aside..life has not been kind to poor Houston.

LIVE FROM NEW JERSEY….

The most over the top punch, that bitch in the face, and steal her independence card ghettoist shit Ive seen since the first season of THE FLAVA OF LOVE. Have fun with this bullshit folks and look close..cuz u know if these fuckers get together and breed ll hell is gonna break loose.

1) A gay terrorist,a lost pimp and a pudgy safari guy.

2) Shaniqua , Alize, and Freschetta …The nacho Supremes.

3) Who makes the conscious decision to go out in public lookin like seat covers from a 78 oldsmobile 225?

4) U knooooow this bitch fuckin sheets up. Is this bitch serious?!

5) Ghetto ass genie..bitch pops out of a 40 bottle.

6) SEE THERE WE’RE TOO LATE….THEY’RE BREEDING!!!

7)Last But not least…Fook MI and Fook YOO ..u know the closest these hood ornaments ever got to the orient was chicken boxes from #1 HaPPy Palace and the one time this bitch got her feet done for the prom.

1

I SHOULDA KNOWN..

I should have seen it COMING…

The very day I heard you HUMMING..

At that girl on girl scene in that FLICK…

It shouldn’t have been a SURPRISE..

The look of pleasure in ur green EYES..

When i walked in on you licking that CHICK.

As the plot started to THICKEN…

And my pulse started to QUICKEN…

I forgot all about the CHICKEN I just BOUGHT..

With taboo thoughts in my MIND…

How could I have been so BLIND?

I guess our souls weren’t as in sync as I THOUGHT.

Judging from the sounds that u were MAKING…

I seriously doubt if u were FAKING…

It seems to me like u were having some FUN…

As a tear escaped my EYE…

I wondered why should I CRY?

Shit a man like me can make this a 2 FOR ONE…

I can’t help but feel JADED..

watching the scene that u CREATED…

Doing all the freaky things 2 women could DO…

I kinda had my SUSPICION….but like any man I was just WISHIN (that)..

Sooner or later U would want include me TOO.

Its hard to figure OUT …

What the beef was all ABOUT…

when u caught me with her u made it seem like It was the WORSE.

Now I tend to BELIEVE u had a few tricks up your SLEEVE..

Girl don’t hate just say you wanted to FUCK HER FIRST!

FUCK HER FIRST (2X)

GIRL DON’T HATE JUST SAY U WANTED TO FUCK HER FIRST

FUCK HER FIRST(2X)

I GAVE U MY BEST BUT ALL I GET IS UR WORSE.

It’s several years LATER..

U saw my name up in the PAPER…

and it made u realize what u been MISSIN

Truth being TOLD ..

When they made you they broke the MOLD..

But i only think about you when I’m PISSIN..

Water going down the DRAIN..

And what we had are one and the SAME…

Because ur selfish and u didn’t want to SHARE…

U eat ur dinner in SILENCE…

A victim of lesbian domestic VIOLENCE..

But ur surprised when I let u know that I DON’T CARE.

CHALLENGE!!!

WE ALL SEEN SOME FUNNY LOOKIN MOFO’S THAT LOOK LIKE SOME OTHER FUNNY MOFO. SO HERE’S UR CHANCE TO MAKE UR COMPARISON…I THINK I’M GONNA KICK SHIT OFF WITH THIS..

NOW ITS UR TURN. LMAO.

DUMB ASS PARENT OF THE WEEK GOES TO…….

OK..This is a funny story from down under…

article here..

Constable Wayne Burnett said he was “shocked and appalled” when he pulled over an unregistered vehicle in the town of ALICE SPRINGS. He said he observed two(2) big ass grownups buckled in the back seat with a 30 count case of beer buckled in the seatbelt between them. So far so good no serious crime committed (yet).However, after a more thorough examination of the backseat he found out what we’ve known all along AUSSIES AREN’T THAT BRIGHT!. This simple minded mofo (the driver) had himself buckled in..had his passengers buckled in…even had his beer buckled in.but guess who wasn’t buckled in?….wait for it …wait for it..his 5 yr old kid !!! The 5 yr old was forced to ride on the floor of the backseat so that the beer could be safe.?!?! Unfuckin believable. HEY JACKASS..NICE PARENTING!!!!


OPRAH IS A HEATHEN?

Ole Harpo is being accused of denying Jesus.? Ask some Christian religious fanatics and they’ll say “YES!”

According to an article on THE DRUDGE REPORT some religious groups are accusing Oprah of pushing a false religion and going so far as to denying Christ. According to one article these wack job close minded bible thumpers site the  philosophies of Oprahs “spiritual superstar” Eckhart Tolle who has made the assertion that “all religions are equally right and equally wrong, depending on how you use them”.Now I don’t know about you but that shits makes a lot of fawkin sense to me. ::shrugs::

http://shatteredparadigm.blogspot.com/2008/05/gospel-according-to-oprah-winfrey-jesus.html<<heres the link to the article.

I’m not a big Oprah fan, But does it really matter what she believes? Doesn’t the deed make the person? I know religion is a very tricky topic to discuss, but I think if we all agree that its not about right or wrong but about expressing a view, it can be discussed intelligently and respectfully.  We all have our views(hell ask anyone who knows me they’ll tell u I start religion argument just to liven a party) check out the article and tell me what you think…your religious views aside…How much of what he says makes sense to you?

In a Church van…

The good folks over @ohellnawl have once again inspired me.
In a blog dedicated to confessing past deeds to your mother for mothers day,one thing led to another and it quickly became loaded with comments about sex and dry humpin and gettin finger fucked while momma was driving and they were in the back seat.smh..skanks..but um..yeah.But that got me to thinking about some things.Namely.::I wonder where is the strangest place some of my friends and associates have had sex in?:: Personally I’ve done “it” in some interesting places..A grocery store parking lot, a vacant house,philadelphia cheesesteaks,and A CHURCH VAN,BEHIND THE CHURCH,DURING SERVICE..while me and the girl in question were supposed to be stapling the church newsletter..::shrugs:: I’m thinking I have a pretty sordid collection of friends so this topic should make for some interesting convo.

Just cuz I don’t like u doesn’t mean I’m hating!

Ok..wanna know one of about a million pet peeves I have? When people misuse or over use the term “HATER”. It seems nowadays U can’t disagree with a mofo or dislike a niggas shit without being branded a “HATER”. Dude U ever think that maybe ur music really sucks homeless fat guy ass? Just cuz u have a beat machine in ur mothers basement doesnt make u a producer. Having Crutchfield catalogs delivered to your mothers house addressed to blood money records inc. doesn’t really mean u have a record label. No..seriously. If I tell u ur baby momma look like she lost bet with jesus..I’m not hatin..the bitch just ugly!! It seems like whenever you call a nigga out on his shit …UR THE HATER.  I was talking to a friend the other day the conversation went as follows…

Me: Yo whuddup my dude..wtf u been all weekend?

Dumbass: Yooo I was chillin with my married shorty.

Me: Nigga her husband gonna come home one day and put one in ur ass.

Dumbass: Maaan fuck that gump..He aint gon do shit.

Me: but nigga u fuckin his wife.

Dumbass:aww nigga u just hatin.

Me:*blank stare*

Me: (after like 2 mins of just blank staring @ this dumb nigga) Dude u fuckin serious..how am I a Hater?

In order to be a true hater there has to be atleast some degree of underlying jealousy,and seriously dude I don’t have shit to be jealous about because A) u live with your mother. B) ur bangin a married chick and proud of it. C) aforementioned married chick looks like a bonafide mud muffin. and finally D) NIGGA U LIVE WITH UR MOTHER! So tell me again what makes me a hater?

Dumbass: nah nigga u just a hater. *walks away*

Needless to say …I haven’t heard from him since.

As always..IF U AINT MAD..THEN GET MAD!

A.W.W.(ARGUING WHEN WRONG)

WHAT IS IT WITH PEOPLE THAT FEEL THE NEED TO ARGUE WHEN THEY’RE SO OBVIOUSLY WRONG? IT REALLY SHOULD BE AGAINST THE FAWKIN LAW.! THEY CAN MAKE THE CHARGE A.W.W. (arguing when wrong). IF CAUGHT AND CONVICTED U RISK PENALTIES OF $100 FINE AND AN IMMEDIATE PUNCH IN THE THROAT.

CASE IN POINT: Yesterday my son and I were driving down our street, landscapers ( well these jokers were just grass cutters) had their big dumb dirty ass trailer in the middle of the street. I asked him politely to move, but instead of moving like any person of normal prudence  would have.. This pickle smoker tells me “let me guide u thru”… I’m like..”first off dude…you’re almost triple parked”..and secondly “u kinda look like a meth head..I’m gonna use my better judgement and not trust yours”. So of course he wanted to get all “raaaaaawr” till I got out and he got a full view of my 6″4″…285 lb frame. I’m not sure who called the police, but they were there within minutes.(homeowner neighborhood). When the keystoners come, I try to explain the situation to them,but toothless yo still wanna argue. So FINALLY  the female cop,(apparently the only one with balls) wrote his dumb ass a ticket. MY QUESTION IS THIS..WHY ARGUE WHEN WRONG?..It would have been soo much easier to just…move. Now this mental midget robbed me of 25 mins I can’t get back.

U got any A.W.W. stories?..please share.

AS ALWAYS..IF U AINT MAD…GET MAD!My twin.

Hello world!

Hello mad men and womens…Thanks to the fine folks over @OHN  WWW.ohellnawl.wordpress.com, I’ve been inspired to blog. So basically what I’ll be doing is taking aim and any and everything. so um…come in…strap down…and go fawkin mad!!!

Bear with me folks..I’m new @ this. My layout will get better and the blogs will get longer and hopefully funnier. For those of you who do blog..I’m open to any help/suggestions u may have.

TILL NEXT POST…IF U AIN’T MAD…GET MAD!UR HOST.