My Tivo thinks I’m a Homo…

I’ve always fancied myself a pretty overtly hetero dude.That being said I’m also worldly and some would say I have “cultured” tastes. Thats not necessarily a bad thing,unless your Tivo thinks you’re a homo. For those of you unfamiliar with Tivo,allow me to explain: Tivo works like your basic DVR it (temporarily)records shows as you watch them,giving you the option to pause or rewind “live” tv. You also have the option to schedule your Tivo to record shows in the event you aren’t home. What separates Tivo from (let’s say) your cable companies DVR is..when you schedule a recording Tivo intuitively “suggest” other shows around tv world you may also like. Basically judging who you are by what you watch.(scary?)

Ok so check it….One day I realized I wasn’t going to be able to watch Top chef on Bravo because of a prior “ain’t shit” type of engagement. I’m not even really sure what it was i had to do,but it’s none of your business anyway so..fuck it. But anywaaaays..I attempted to set the Tivo up to record TopChef and was met with success. Hoooray for small victories! I went about my merry way oblivious to the scathing character attack that was being perpetrated by the judgmental tyrant that is TIVO. When I got home that morning, I decided to watch the recorded episode of TopChef..and lo’and behold!

gaymovienightlogo

Not only do I see TopChef…but Top Model..and project runway and  some assorted selections from LOGO network. WHo knew pickle smokers and taco ticklers had their own network? I was shocked..no…I was APPALLED!!  It was like my TiVo brain was abducted by this guy:

isaiah-washington-gay <start rant>How dare you judge me TIVO…You’re just a hunk of plastic and circuits (probably assembled by slave labor in India) who do you think you are assuming I like penis?  I’m as MANLY as they come dammit!!  Hell i even named my penis after my favorite brand of power tool STANLEY. I watch football and MMA and for your information pussy means a lot to me.<end rant> So I try to thwart Tivo’s misguided and un-warranted profiling by recording things so hetero my tv smelled like saw dust and old spice. Like “Pinks-all out” which is a show about drag racing, I don’t know what TiVo thought but apparently wanting to watch something entitled “Pinks” did nothing to make me appear less gay. go figure.

16 Comments »

  1. Amber Said:

    LMAO bwahahahaha.. Okay that shit is crazy! I never used tivo but wow… I used to atch Logo all the time then I realized it was for the folks that like to walk the crooked path… Good One. I almost peed my pants

    • minista Said:

      I’m glad I could make you laugh. Thanks for stopping by. Come back often.

  2. Crash921 Said:

    LMAO! LOGO? We dont have that channel down here. If we do, I dont know about it.

  3. LMAAOOO. You can’t really blame TiVo tho. Think about music websites (Yahoo radio, Pandora, etc.) that suggest other artists for you because a different user also listened to them. Example: “Other listeners also enjoyed *insert alias artist here*” TiVo works the same way doll. Other viewers that watched Top Chef also enjoyed Top Model, Project Runway, and those shows on LoGo. The program saw a repeated pattern and therefore followed through.

    And honestly if I was TiVo “Pinks-all out” doesn’t sound like drag racing TV. Sounds like pussy porn. I’da kept yo ass tuned into LOGO too. LMAO

    • minista Said:

      Sounds “logical” ..but fuck that. @ Mamba

  4. LADY*GODIVA Said:

    wow….im scared of any machine that can “think” for me..like know my tastes and shit. that was funny as hell the way you put it though…

  5. fuck.a.slim.jim Said:

    awwww! Tivo knows your secrets! “Gay Movie Night?!” hahahHAHa im so sorry that happened to you

  6. dzam fam Said:

    now thats what i cal ‘sum faggoty bullshit’!!!

  7. Wilfredo Said:

    Wait, Project Runway’s gay?!?

  8. Z Said:

    You don’t fool me, Mr. Minista. You kno you queer. YOU COULD BE MY GAY BESTFRIEND!

  9. kajani500 Said:

    Maybe Tivo suggested LOGO to you because you record MMA. That’s 50x gayer than Project Runway…I’d “LOGO” you too if you asked me to record MMA for you. *handing you baby oil for your “submission hold”*

    • minista Said:

      MMA…Gay…uh..no. More manly then boxing. chump. @ Kajani

      • kajani500 Said:

        Once again, I don’t care how hard they hit or how much blood…when one man oils up to fight another oiled up man & they have chokeholds called “rear naked submission”…it’s gay. Do you ever notice how close they get to 69’ing each other on those fights?? Eewww…Tivo won, man. Get over it.

      • minista Said:

        Kajani…lmao! well that can be said about ANY form of hand to hand combat. I WILL NOT let TiVo win.


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