Archive for October 7, 2009

Dwarf Gets his penis stuck in a vacuum.

freaky dwarf

A British dwarf who was performing at the ‘Edinburgh Festival’ found his penis glued to a vacuum cleaner (dude..the fuck are you doin fucking a vacuum…for any reason) while preparing for a live show. (now I’ve seen some wild shit…hell,I’ve seen and damn near sat through..a real live Donkey Show. Believe me when I tell you that there ain’t shit on this rock we call Earth that could make me spend good weed money..to watch a midget fuck a vacuum.)Daniel Blackner, known as “Captain Dan the Demon Dwarf” performed at the Circus of Horrors, known for its oddball and offbeat performances. As part of the show, the dwarf pulls a Henry vacuum cleaner using a special attachment, across the show attached to his penis. ( I dunno if I’m more disturbed by the fact that he’s pulling around a vacuum by his pecker OR the fact that the vacuum is named “Henry”)However, the vacuum cleaner was broken before a performance and performer Blackner placed extra-strong glue on the attachment to fix it, neglecting to wait the entire 20 minutes required for the glue to dry, ( freaky and impatient…clearly not the best of combinations) which resulted in his penis becoming glued to the vacuum cleaner. *ouch!

After being rushed to the A&E department of Edinburgh Royal Infirmary, Blackner was freed after an hour ( I’m certain 45 minutes of that hour was dedicated to laughing their motherfuckin ass off!) and remarked that: “It was the most embarrassing moment of my life when I got wheeled into a packed A&E with a vacuum attached to me. I just wished the ground could swallow me up.(careful what you wish for lil homey,I mean you ARE a freakin dwarf..how hard could that be?) Luckily, they saw me quickly so the embarrassment was short lived.” *Giggles*…He said “short” lived. Classic. < FULL ARTICLE >