Archive for funny as hell

Caption This…..

chunky monkeysBetween the 4 of theses hoes…I challenge you to find me a neck. Seriously tho…the chick on the left look like the rest of these bitches been snacking on her feet.

Dwarf Gets his penis stuck in a vacuum.

freaky dwarf

A British dwarf who was performing at the ‘Edinburgh Festival’ found his penis glued to a vacuum cleaner (dude..the fuck are you doin fucking a vacuum…for any reason) while preparing for a live show. (now I’ve seen some wild shit…hell,I’ve seen and damn near sat through..a real live Donkey Show. Believe me when I tell you that there ain’t shit on this rock we call Earth that could make me spend good weed money..to watch a midget fuck a vacuum.)Daniel Blackner, known as “Captain Dan the Demon Dwarf” performed at the Circus of Horrors, known for its oddball and offbeat performances. As part of the show, the dwarf pulls a Henry vacuum cleaner using a special attachment, across the show attached to his penis. ( I dunno if I’m more disturbed by the fact that he’s pulling around a vacuum by his pecker OR the fact that the vacuum is named “Henry”)However, the vacuum cleaner was broken before a performance and performer Blackner placed extra-strong glue on the attachment to fix it, neglecting to wait the entire 20 minutes required for the glue to dry, ( freaky and impatient…clearly not the best of combinations) which resulted in his penis becoming glued to the vacuum cleaner. *ouch!

After being rushed to the A&E department of Edinburgh Royal Infirmary, Blackner was freed after an hour ( I’m certain 45 minutes of that hour was dedicated to laughing their motherfuckin ass off!) and remarked that: “It was the most embarrassing moment of my life when I got wheeled into a packed A&E with a vacuum attached to me. I just wished the ground could swallow me up.(careful what you wish for lil homey,I mean you ARE a freakin dwarf..how hard could that be?) Luckily, they saw me quickly so the embarrassment was short lived.” *Giggles*…He said “short” lived. Classic. < FULL ARTICLE >

Caption this….

pudgy pickle huggerIf the smell of dicks and egg fu yung could come to life…this is what it would look like.

Chinese Smurfs…Churfs?

gay ass midgets

Anyone who knows me KNOWS I fuckin looove midgets and dwarfs and lil muhfuggas of every sort. They are indeed gods little punchline…funsized like them lil snickers. snickersOr as my 9 yr old son calls em..”little boy men”.

I sometimes feel sorry for the lil buggers and maybe even a bit guilty…but then they go and do some ole bullshit like this..

Chinese Dwarfs Start Their Own Village

(MYFOX NATIONAL) – A community of dwarfs in China is tired of being discriminated against and is doing something about it.

The Telegraph reports that the people of Kunming, a mountain community in southern China, have set up their own village to escape discrimination from normal sized people.

All of the 120 residents are under 4-feet, 3-inches tall, and they run their own police force and fire department. The group also has turned itself into a tourist attraction by building mushroom houses and living and dressing like fairy tale characters.

chinese smurfs

“As small people we are used to being pushed around and exploited by big people. But here there aren’t any big people and everything we do is for us,” said spokesman Fu Tien. FULL STORY

I change my mind..thats some creepy shit..like part of me wants to be happy for the  pint sized little shits..but then the other half of me wants to run through their little mushroom village like Gargamel ,from the Smurfs gargamelIt’s like Lilliputia in Dreamland all over again. I don’t know about you…but these lil strong looking sons of bitches scare the living shit outta me.. Buff ass midgetsCheck out that lil menacing looking motherfucker with the afro…ANY chinamen with an afro CAN”T BE TRUSTED!! you  knooow he has a knife tucked somewhere probably that afro. Not sure whats going on with that walking conradiction in the back..a fat Chinese midget.FTW. He’s going for the gold,And poor lil shit stacked homey in the back looking sad as shit..like he’s tired of walking around all day being eye level  with assholes and ball sacks.I’m just gonna call dude in the front “photoshopped yo” cuz ain’t know way in hell that big ass head belongs to him.

Keep f@%$ing that chicken!!

Fox 5 news anchor offers some off the wall dating advice to the weatherman! *watch the look on his co-anchors face!! it’s freakin priceless.

President Obama calls Kanye West a “jackass”

kanye_west1douchebag
TerryMoran: Pres. Obama just called Kanye West a “jackass” for his outburst at VMAs when Taylor Swift won. Now THAT’S presidential.
about 5 hours ago from web · Reply · View Tweet
PWND!
When the POTUS thinks you’re a jackass..it’s time to rethink your decision making paradigm.

Dear Kanye,

So..our The Leader of the free world thinks you’re a fuckin douchebag.. that can’t feel good Ye. Dude..what the fuck were you thinking? Then again you weren’t thinking and therein lies the beginning of your problems. I understand you lost your mother.(that HAS to suck). But to use that as an excuse to act like a total tool on national television is childish at best.America forgave you for your  remarks about President Bush’ treatment of Katrina victims because deep down in side you said what a lot of black people were thinking and feeling. and Hell it may even have been true. This last tirade,I’m afraid people won’t be so forgiving. Or maybe they will. I mean this is the country who embraced R Kelly even after it was obvious he pissed on a 9th grader. Good luck.

Wal-mart fights Syphilis with…sales?

vd

Syphilis just keeps coming back- In Forsyth County, N.C., where the number of cases so far in 2009 — 140 — is more than triple all those reported in 2008, health officials have chosen an unlikely weapon to fight against it: Wal-Mart gift cards.

To tamp down the biggest outbreak the state has seen in years, health workers from that county spent a recent weekend canvassing neighborhoods, asking people to get tested for syphilis and HIV in exchange for a $10 card. <Source>

Problem is…chances are..If you’re in North Carolina…and met a girl in Wal-mart ..she probably has syphilis. ::shrugs::

Tila Tequila..Jealous nutbag?

tequila and merriman
Now playing: Buckcherry – Crazy Bitch
via FoxyTunes

1954-crimesuspenstories23

Report: Jealousy led to incident at Merriman’s house

Posted by Mike Florio on September 9, 2009 10:00 PM ET

Finally, facts are emerging regarding the incident that resulted in allegations that Chargers linebacker Shawne Merriman battered and falsely imprisoned Tila Tequila Nguyen.

And we kind of wish they hadn’t.

According to Juliette Vara of 10News.com in San Diego, Nguyen wasn’t happy that Merriman was paying too much attention to other women at his home.

Per the report, Merriman went to his bedroom with two women.  Nguyen then entered the room, and Merriman asked her to join them.  She reacted angrily, threatening to have sex with a member of Merriman’s entourage.

Instead, she took off all her clothes and tried to leave the house.  Merriman then prevented her from leaving…. FULL ARTICLE

OK..first off let me say..I’m moving to Shawne Merriman’s neighborhood! If your girl is that jealous and impulsive that she would just sleep with any random dude…then get ass nekkid and go running around the neighborhood like some oversexed geisha doll..I’m living in the wrong neighborhood.

Whats worse..it’s quite possible that she made this all up and risked pissing someone else’ career down the drain. Why because for the most part HER career is pissed down the drain.

Now i’m sure there will be people out there who say that Merriman was wrong for inviting her into the bed with 2 other women..but I say to those people…wouldn’t it have been selfish of him NOT to invite her? I mean that is his boo. right?

Snake on a plane

..And for this weeks episode of “please don’t be black ..please don’t be black”………

motherfuckin snakesLife Imitates art….

snake on a plane

A passenger stripped naked during a US Airways flight and resisted a flight attendant’s efforts to cover him with a blanket before two off-duty law enforcement officers on board subdued and handcuffed him, authorities said Wednesday.

Keith Wright, 50, of the Bronx in New York, was taken into custody after he disrobed while sitting in his seat inthe back of Flight 705 on Tuesday evening, authorities said. The plane was carrying about 148 passengers fromCharlotte to Los Angeles, the airline said.

Wright was unresponsive when a flight attendant asked him to put his clothes back on, said Dan Jiron, aspokesman for the Albuquerque airport. “She asked him on more than one occasion to put on his clothes. Shecovered him with a blanket and he took that off,” Jiron said.

Wright punched and kicked the flight attendant, who asked two off-duty law officers for help, according to acriminal complaint.

A Los Angeles police officer and sheriff’s deputy helped the flight attendant subdue and handcuff Wright beforethe flight landed, Jiron said. <source>

Darius Chappille exposed himself to a female passenger sitting next to him and punched her in the face when she screamed. He then removed all his clothes and proceeded to walk up and down the aisle naked.<source>

old shame bitch

Imagine this shit…you’re on a flight from Oakland to see your boo in St.Louis, you’ve just gotten settled,you put in the headphones to watch the in-flight movie,and just as you pop open your complimentary peanuts,The big jackass next to you decides he wants to pop his nuts too,all up and down the motherfuckin cabin of the plane!!  Only after punching you in your fuckin face. So now you’re sitting there with a puffy lip and an eye full off ding-a-ling. While this big bastard ,butt ass nekkid runnin around just floppin dick on peoples shoulders and shit. I want my goddamn money back. Nobody told me my seat came with a side of crazy dick.…….AND He’s black. Damn.

Who needs a chick with a donkey,when you can bone a real horse..

Psst..see this guy right here?  Other then the fact that he looks like he tries to bite his own farts and write his name on McDonalds windows with navel sweat…he also likes to fuck horses…
_rodell_vereen the horse fucking machineAlot! Because this wasn’t the first time he’s been caught.
…..Kenley said she noticed several weeks ago her 21-year-old horse Sugar was acting strange and getting infections again. She noticed things in the barn had been moved around — dirt piled up and bales of hay stacked near the horse’s stall at her Lazy B Stables in Longs, about 20 miles northeast of Myrtle Beach.
“Police kept telling me it couldn’t be the same guy,” Kenley said Wednesday. “I couldn’t believe that there were two guys going around doing this to the same horse.”
She spent several nights at the stables, which are about four miles from her home, but didn’t find anything. So she installed surveillance cameras, and when she reviewed the footage from July 19, she couldn’t believe she was seeing the same man doing the same thing to her horse.
Kenley didn’t call police because she was certain the man would come back to the stable, and she wanted to make sure he was arrested. So she staked out the barn and caught Vereen inside Monday night, chasing him to his truck and holding him with her shotgun until police came. { source}
Soooo not only is this nasty son of a bitch raping horses, he giving them infections and shit? really slim? Yo dick is that disease riddled that you burning horse pussy? Maybe you’re the same simpleton that started swine flu when you tried to fuck your pork chops. it takes a special type a dude to look at ANY animal and be like..”yeah..first chance I get,I’m hittin that”.

horse

Big ole ass and a long ponytail…maybe he thought he was in a rap video..::shrugs::

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