Archive for murder

Husband signs a “You Can whip my ass” contract with his wife

original article in >> Telegraph U.K. <<  …My commentary is written in  BOLD ITALICS

"It smells like egg foo yung in this suit"

The 32-year-old man, who was named by the Chongqing Evening News as Mr Zhang, took the unusual step after suffering intense abuse from his wife, who studies kung fu. < see..his first mistake was marrying some ole Kill Bill ass bitch.


"Me fuck you up looong time"

“I don’t want to beat him, but arguments are inevitable and I can’t help myself,” his wife told the newspaper. She added that in the week before they signed the deal, she had beaten him up three times.

Rule #1 Never marry a chick that can kick your ass. Haven’t  you bootlegged seen NORBIT fool?

Mr Zhang said his wife, who is a sales manager at a trading company, had studied kung fu since her childhood and that he was attracted to her “strong and independent temperament”.

" I will whip yo lil ching chong ass"

Yeah?…Rasputia had a strong ass temperament too. I bet you didn’t know that temperament came with a strong ass butterfly kick

He also admitted that he had suffered at her hands throughout their six-month courtship. “Before we got married, she had a wild hairstyle and I teased that it made her look like a tigress. #Rule 2 NEVER EVER EVER be fool enough to criticize a woman’s hair. You kinda needed your ass whipped for that one.During the argument that followed, I said some bad words and I got a taste of her kung fu for the first time.” <aaaand probably a taste of you own blood.>

He said that he had tried to bite his lip in order to avoid being punished, but that he “never wants to lose an argument” and so always ends up with “bruises and scars all over”. < see theeere’s ya problem dumb ass. Men..just like women…need to know when to shut the fuck up.

In order to curb his wife’s aggression, Mr Zhang proposed signing a contract in front of his in-laws. If his wife breaches the contract, she has to return to her parents’ home for three days. “She is very obedient to her parents, and her parents will support me and blame her,” he said. “Bitch…hit me again and I’mma tell yo momma?” Dude ur shittin me right? You’re such a loose spined pussy that you actually had a contract drawn up to keep your wife off your ass? Couldn’t just fight back huh? or even better…leave?  What a jackass.

His wife said that she always feels regret when she sees her husband with a black eye. “Now that we have a contract, I will force myself to drop the use of force,” she said. <This broad really needs some fucking anger management.

Mr Zhang’s parents told the newspaper that although they felt bad that their son was regularly attacked, the couple were a good match. “They have a good marriage, so we can say nothing about it,” said his father. < That’s because she probably whipped yall ass’ too. They sound a lil traumatized to me.

I mean damn…we’ve all done some silly shit in the name of love…but contractual ass whippings? I’d rather spend my days reading People magazine to a room full of cats.

“I’m the dummy who robbed you house,can I have my wallet back?”

sparethekittensfromstupidpeople

LITTLE ROCK, Ark. (AP) — Losing his wallet was a would-be robber’s mistake. Trying to get it back was an even bigger blunder.

Police in Little Rock, Ark., report 23-year-old Courvoisier Marteze Riley dropped his wallet during an attempted robbery at a home.

While police were interviewing the victim, authorities say Riley called wanting to get his wallet returned. Officers say Riley told the victim to bring the wallet to a service station.

Of course, that’s where officers found the suspect. Police say Riley tried to run, but was caught after a short chase. < source >

Never mind the sad fact that we know his mothers’ alcoholic beverage of choice AND the fact she was stupid enough to name him after it…hell that’s nothing new …Alize anyone? Somebody needs to do a survey or some shit because he HAS to be the dumbest ass in captivity!

Anybody wanna ride with me to Arkansas to give this dumb sumbitch the beating he deserves? A motherfucker that stupid DOES NOT need to be free, just put his dumb ass in a room with crayons and Bet..and give his simpleminded ass all the “red” Kool-aid he can drink. I wish a motherfucker would rob my house,drop his wallet..and have the GIGANTIC balls to call my fuckin house and ask ME? to bring me his shit? Obama could be having a press conference announcing a permanent middle east peace agreement and they would interrupt ole boy just to tell the world what I did to this dumb as dog shit,turd blossom of a mental midget.

The first thing I would do is thank the Lord baby Jesus for the good fortune of allowing me the opportunity and honor to exact vengeance in his name,on this asshole using the divine instrument of my foot. I would whip that niggas ass till my back hurt..the return that shit for brains having son of a bitch his wallet (minus any money he may have had) AND I would have refused to press charges. That ass whipping would definitely be punishment enough…trust me

Wal-mart fights Syphilis with…sales?

vd

Syphilis just keeps coming back- In Forsyth County, N.C., where the number of cases so far in 2009 — 140 — is more than triple all those reported in 2008, health officials have chosen an unlikely weapon to fight against it: Wal-Mart gift cards.

To tamp down the biggest outbreak the state has seen in years, health workers from that county spent a recent weekend canvassing neighborhoods, asking people to get tested for syphilis and HIV in exchange for a $10 card. <Source>

Problem is…chances are..If you’re in North Carolina…and met a girl in Wal-mart ..she probably has syphilis. ::shrugs::

Transtesticle makes husband exercise to death.

Death by Exercise

CHARDON, Ohio – A transgender woman was sentenced Friday to four years in prison for killing her frail husband by forcing him to exercise.

Chris Mason, 41, was sentenced in Geauga County Common Pleas Court for reckless homicide in the death of 73-year-old James Mason. She pleaded guilty earlier and could have gotten five years at sentencing.

Mason’s voice quivered as she tearfully apologized for the June death of her husband, who had heart problems. A surveillance camera caught Mason forcing her husband around in the pool.

Chris Mason also goes by Christine Newton-John, the name she took after her 1993 sex change… FULL STORY

So basically this transtesticle forced her old ass husband to go swimming knowing he had a weak ass heart. I’m sure he/she/they had a big ass insurance policy on the old coot and could’nt wait for him to break a hip or some shit, or maybe have a massive coronary when he finds out u used to have a pickle. Noooo you wanna exercise the old bastard to death…shame on you transtesticle…SHAME on you.