Posts Tagged ‘blind’

MIDGETS FOR HIRE!!

Are you a MIDGET,DWARF,or just an abnormally short fucker? If so I have a unique job opportunity for you. We here @ THE MADHOUSE are sensitive to the hardships of being vertically challenged. We have assembled some of the best fourth rate specialists we could find to form a think tank,to decide how better to serve our citizens of less then normal stature.After minutes of deep deliberation we have decided the service industry would be best suited for our”smallest of Americans”.

Specifically in the area’s of food service i;e Gala’s,Fundraisers and private events,And the medical field.Because of your height you are perfectly suited to wear one of our newly designed snack and condiment hats. Designed with the service midget in mind ,these hats contain compartments perfect for dispensing peanuts,pretzels,etc. leaving your little pudgy midgets hands free to polish belt buckles or whatever supplemental services u may provide. Maybe even full blown entertainment services for people who are trying to cut down celebrity consumption.

Of course they will always come conveniently packaged.

As a service midget you will be uniquely qualified the the health care industry as a cost efficient and more hygienic replacement for “helper monkeys” commonly used to assist quadriplegics. In addition to those in wheelchairs you can also be of assistance to the blind as “seeing eye” midgets. As a Madhouse helper midget you will be equipped with all the things you need to get the job done.(step ladders,rope,and arm extensions). Put your abnormality to good use besides being an extra in a Hollywood movie staring midgets in monkey suits. VIVE LA MIDGETS…VIVE LOS FUN SIZED HOMBRES.!!!