Posts Tagged ‘phones’

Not a douche bag? There’s an app for that.

Dear iPhone and Blackberry owners do us a favor and ….

douche bag class picture Sincerely,

The rest of us.

What the fuck is it about in iphone or a blackberry that makes it’s users such fuckin douche bags? I can’t go one day without some ass hat going on and on about his precious iphone or doucheberryHey,Fuckhead…it’s a phone. Some of you who own one (God forbid both) of these phones may be saying to yourself¬† “hey I have a _______ but I’m not a douche bag” Trust me my vinegar and watery friend,you’re a fucking douche bag. For example; If you’ve ever referred to your phone as anything other then a phone ie; “ I left my iphone/blackberry in the house” ..Bitch!…it’s a phone..and you’re a douche. Ask an iphone owner why they have an iphone and most will say ..”dude,look at all the apps”…fuck your apps..how many grown ass men you know walk around making their cellphone make fart noises? me either..but there’s an app for that. Ever felt the need to just zip and unzip shit like some fuckin idiot with OCD? Most normal people don’t..but guess what ?¬† There’s an app for that. The thing I hate about thses phone is their “cultish” following…like each Blackberry or iphone comes with a purple pack of cyanide laced Kool-aid. “Apple products are sooo reliable” they say. Really? Reliable you say? Like that 45 min battery life? yeah that’s some reliable shit. Or reliability like… that motherfucker blowing up on you when you charge it? The only thing you can rely on is…a house fire,and you becoming a douche bag. There are more then ten pages of “iphone fix” topics on Google..That’s pretty reliable. And..does someone wanna explain to me why the user agreement for the iphone is 156 pages long? has anyone ever read the whole thing? probably not because I’m sure somewhere in there it states by using said device you sell your soul to Steve jobs and you relinquish your right to NOT be a douche.

Iphone accesories

Iphone accesories

What I absolutely hate about Blackberry is the sheer unnecessary complexity of it all. Most Blackberry owners use their phones for 2 things…Phone calls and BBM (Blackberry Mobile) BBM by the way is about as douche as you can get as far as phones are concerned…you really need your own special messenging service through a Blackberry server? Didn’t think so…fuck you . I hope you lose your phone…I mean Blackberry. With that being said…I leave you with this Gem… Douche Bags.